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Do Your Homework. Being a good conversationalist starts at home well before a social gathering begins, says Leil Lowndes, author of How to Talk to Anyone. Good conversationalists carve time out of their preparty schedule to become conversant about the news, current events, and pop culture. They also consider other topics that might interest party guests based on their careers, lifestyles, and hobbies. But you can’t merely study those potential points of discussion and wrap up your homework. “You should also form your opinion on whatever topics people will be talking about beforehand,” says Lowndes. “If during a conversation you have to stop and think about how you feel about the topic and form your opinion, the group will likely have moved on to a new topic by the time you’re ready to speak up.”
Arm Yourself with Conversation Starters. When you’re mingling with a group of new people, often the biggest difficulty is getting a conversation going with an unfamiliar face. To help wallflowers overcome this hurdle, Lowndes suggests they ask individuals open-ended questions that move conversations beyond one-word responses. For example, instead of asking someone where she is from, inquire what motivated her to live in your current hometown. Such open-ended questions can provoke more interesting conversations and help you make personal connections with fellow guests.
Work on the Whole Skill Set. When you are meeting someone for the first time, it’s not just your handshake that matters. Good conversationalists respond to others with inviting body language, a positive tone of voice, and enthusiasm about the discussion at hand—especially during the first few seconds of meeting someone. “I always say to detonate ten seconds of enthusiasm when you meet someone,” says Lowndes, “because the first ten seconds set the tone for a more open and friendly conversation.”
Practice Your Listening Skills. Ironically, one of the consistent traits top conversationalists exhibit is an ability to listen well, and listen more than they talk. To avoid having one-sided conversations, Blyth’s rule of thumb is never to talk for a longer stretch than it would take her to soft-boil an egg. Lowndes prescribes a similar timing trick. “If you are talking to someone and find that you have been telling a story for more than one minute, stop talking and throw the conversation back to them or ask them how they feel about the topic,” she says. By minding the time when you’re talking, you will engage others in conversation and steer clear of becoming a bore.
Go Out with a Bang. Too often, individuals focus all their efforts on the introduction or the start of a conversation and then forget that their parting words are equally important. “When we meet people, we sound enthusiastic, but at the end of the conversation, all we say is, ‘It was nice talking to you,’” says Lowndes. Instead, you should make your goodbye as enthusiastic and genuine as your hello. Personalize the close of a conversation so it resonates with others and allows you to depart for the evening on a positive note.
See the article in my Home By Design Magazine Do Your Homework. Being a good conversationalist starts at home well before a social gathering begins, says Leil Lowndes, author of How to Talk to Anyone. Good conversationalists carve time out of their preparty schedule to become conversant about the news, current events, and pop culture. They also consider other topics that might interest party guests based on their careers, lifestyles, and hobbies. But you can’t merely study those potential points of discussion and wrap up your homework. “You should also form your opinion on whatever topics people will be talking about beforehand,” says Lowndes. “If during a conversation you have to stop and think about how you feel about the topic and form your opinion, the group will likely have moved on to a new topic by the time you’re ready to speak up.”
Arm Yourself with Conversation Starters. When you’re mingling with a group of new people, often the biggest difficulty is getting a conversation going with an unfamiliar face. To help wallflowers overcome this hurdle, Lowndes suggests they ask individuals open-ended questions that move conversations beyond one-word responses. For example, instead of asking someone where she is from, inquire what motivated her to live in your current hometown. Such open-ended questions can provoke more interesting conversations and help you make personal connections with fellow guests.
Work on the Whole Skill Set. When you are meeting someone for the first time, it’s not just your handshake that matters. Good conversationalists respond to others with inviting body language, a positive tone of voice, and enthusiasm about the discussion at hand—especially during the first few seconds of meeting someone. “I always say to detonate ten seconds of enthusiasm when you meet someone,” says Lowndes, “because the first ten seconds set the tone for a more open and friendly conversation.”
Practice Your Listening Skills. Ironically, one of the consistent traits top conversationalists exhibit is an ability to listen well, and listen more than they talk. To avoid having one-sided conversations, Blyth’s rule of thumb is never to talk for a longer stretch than it would take her to soft-boil an egg. Lowndes prescribes a similar timing trick. “If you are talking to someone and find that you have been telling a story for more than one minute, stop talking and throw the conversation back to them or ask them how they feel about the topic,” she says. By minding the time when you’re talking, you will engage others in conversation and steer clear of becoming a bore.
Go Out with a Bang. Too often, individuals focus all their efforts on the introduction or the start of a conversation and then forget that their parting words are equally important. “When we meet people, we sound enthusiastic, but at the end of the conversation, all we say is, ‘It was nice talking to you,’” says Lowndes. Instead, you should make your goodbye as enthusiastic and genuine as your hello. Personalize the close of a conversation so it resonates with others and allows you to depart for the evening on a positive note.  Do Your Homework. Being a good conversationalist starts at home well before a social gathering begins, says Leil Lowndes, author of How to Talk to Anyone. Good conversationalists carve time out of their preparty schedule to become conversant about the news, current events, and pop culture. They also consider other topics that might interest party guests based on their careers, lifestyles, and hobbies. But you can’t merely study those potential points of discussion and wrap up your homework. “You should also form your opinion on whatever topics people will be talking about beforehand,” says Lowndes. “If during a conversation you have to stop and think about how you feel about the topic and form your opinion, the group will likely have moved on to a new topic by the time you’re ready to speak up.”
Arm Yourself with Conversation Starters. When you’re mingling with a group of new people, often the biggest difficulty is getting a conversation going with an unfamiliar face. To help wallflowers overcome this hurdle, Lowndes suggests they ask individuals open-ended questions that move conversations beyond one-word responses. For example, instead of asking someone where she is from, inquire what motivated her to live in your current hometown. Such open-ended questions can provoke more interesting conversations and help you make personal connections with fellow guests.
Work on the Whole Skill Set. When you are meeting someone for the first time, it’s not just your handshake that matters. Good conversationalists respond to others with inviting body language, a positive tone of voice, and enthusiasm about the discussion at hand—especially during the first few seconds of meeting someone. “I always say to detonate ten seconds of enthusiasm when you meet someone,” says Lowndes, “because the first ten seconds set the tone for a more open and friendly conversation.”
Practice Your Listening Skills. Ironically, one of the consistent traits top conversationalists exhibit is an ability to listen well, and listen more than they talk. To avoid having one-sided conversations, Blyth’s rule of thumb is never to talk for a longer stretch than it would take her to soft-boil an egg. Lowndes prescribes a similar timing trick. “If you are talking to someone and find that you have been telling a story for more than one minute, stop talking and throw the conversation back to them or ask them how they feel about the topic,” she says. By minding the time when you’re talking, you will engage others in conversation and steer clear of becoming a bore.
Go Out with a Bang. Too often, individuals focus all their efforts on the introduction or the start of a conversation and then forget that their parting words are equally important. “When we meet people, we sound enthusiastic, but at the end of the conversation, all we say is, ‘It was nice talking to you,’” says Lowndes. Instead, you should make your goodbye as enthusiastic and genuine as your hello. Personalize the close of a conversation so it resonates with others and allows you to depart for the evening on a positive note.
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